Showing newest posts with label Coonery Review. Show older posts
Showing newest posts with label Coonery Review. Show older posts

25.4.10

HOOD SOCIALITE'S COONS OF THE WEEK: STARRING TILA TEQUILA & KAT STANKS

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I haven't had the pleasure of choosing a "coon of the week" for awhile now because sometimes you just really have to unplug from the outlandish bullshit going on on the internet, take a step back and injest some real culture into your life.

Especially when blogging, sifting through all this coon shit can be so draining and unfortunate and considering there was so much shukkin and jiving going on in the last couple of weeks its hard to pick just one. So you guys decide who cooned the best and better than the rest!

First up Tila Tequila. Peep the footage from Vlad TV below.



So, Tela is the female Tupac huh??

Wow.

First of all, its obvious she's on dope. She's slurring her words and not making a lick of sense. Looking like a strung out Lucy Lui... Just shameful. And then this bitch had the NERVE to start quoting Lil Keke... Whew!! She better stop disrespecting the Southside like that. That trik ran my blood pressure up.

This seemed more like a interview for "heaux-lebrity" rehab, rather than whatever she was attempting to do or promote. Where is this child's mama cuz she needs her ass whopped. No. Home. Training.


Our second nominee is the INFAMOUS Miss Kat Skanks or Stanks or whatever she calls herself. She has a new video out exposing more of her dirty, ratchet ass escapades, all the while cementing her place in the "Coon Hall Of Fame". Ill post the video even though I cant get through the first 10 seconds. Fuck it, I'll jump on the bandwagon. I need the clicks. 


The sad thing about this Kat Stacks situation is that she is so cute. I'm not gonna be too hard on lil mama though. I think she's kinda funny in a lost, sad, pathetic, coonish type of way. I think she just needs a mentor. Somebody call Tiny and Toya and make that happen. Oh yeah, shout out to you hoes @ bossip who "all of a sudden" came up with your "coon of the day" post. Get off my dick.

5.2.10

HOOD SOCIALITE'S COON OF THE WEEK...

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This week has been full of inappropriate pussy poppin, ass slappin, no home training having coonery. The ladies have taken the crown this week and are wearing it with pride! Let us proceed to break down the fuckery, shall we?!?




Now don't get me wrong, I love a good dance contest. I can perculate with the best of them!! BUT... there is a time and place for everything. Our first coon is Dwight Howard's baby mama. (She's the bare foot, aggressive bop in the black.) First of all, let me say that if you enter a dance contest in Miami please have some cakes in the back. She needs to eat some greens, soak up the pot liquor with some cornbread, wash it down with some ensure, head back for Memorial Day and try again. This trik seems more like Wacka Flocka's baby mama, than Dwight's. Just shameful... You KNOW it's bad when T.O. looks embarrassed! Damn Dwight! He is a young guy and playas fuck up. Just be sure to keep a leash on that mutt and file for custody of your kids ASAP. And next time... use a condom. I would hate to see the chicks he IS strappin up with. Yall pray for them.

29.1.10

Hood Socialite's Coon of the Week!

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Mo Money Taxes receives our "Coon" honor this week with their festive and ignorant advertisement for tax services. I honestly thought that this ish was a joke when I first saw it but oh no... These coons have locations nationwide. Would you trust these fools with your tax information and social security numbers??

6.1.10

Hood Socialite's 2009 Coonery Review

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Well, well, well... Look what we have here! The Lord has decided to bless us with the year 2010. We have been through alot together, haven't we?? ALOT of shit went down and before you can embrace the future, let's recap the past, shall we?? Join me as we travel the yellow brick road of ass whoopins, coochie shot snappin, & shukkin n jivin coonery that commenced during the year of 2009....





The "RawDog" Award goes to....**drum roll please** LIL WAYNE!!! Anybody that has 4 (or however many...) baby mamas in 1 year needs a home aids test and a lifetime supply of trojans. (Tiger Woods receives Honorable Mention)


The "Exposed as a Payment Plan Bish" Award goes to... VIVICA FOX!!! She hasn't been right since 50 blew her back out. (Gabrielle Union receives Honorable Mention)





The "Boo, You're Special Too" Award goes to... SOLANGE!!! 09 was a year of endless, self absorbed, unrelenting, and mighty fucking annoying temper tantrums from Beyonce's little sister (she has to hate being called that)and enough is enough! Passing out, nipple slips, coke snorting... the baldness of it all!! You dont have to try so hard...we know you're alive and we believe in you. Be great boo...you're special too. (Kanye West receives Honorable Mention)




The "Puttin HOES On" Award (formerly known as the "Russell Simmons Award") goes to....KANYE WEST!! 2009 was the year of white "hoes" winning. Thank Kanye for giving every dykin, greasy, trailer park, boody doo white girl the idea that if they shave their head, grab some American Apparel, and degrade themselves to the point of no return, then they too can become an overnight "celeb". Hoes need to dream too... (Nicki Minaj receives Honorable Mention)




The "They Never Shouldve Given You Ni**as Money" Award goes to... The Washington Redskins!! Dont shoot the messenger...Win a game, any game and I'll stop talking shit. (Washington Wizards receive Honorable Mention)


The "They Call Me Mr. Hit that Hoe" Award goes to ... CHRIS BROWN!! We forgive you Chris. I know the real reason you beat the brakes off of Rihanna was because that bitch is crazy. Who knows what type of sorcery her island ass was using on you. We've all heard that evil ass chant she does in every song...hell naw! We know boo... and we understand. Sometimes you have to defend yourself in the name of the Lord and unfortunately sometimes teeth and excessive biting is involved. I wouldve done the same thing. Im still not gonna buy your CD though. BAM!!



Hahahaha! Let me stop! But seriously... 2009 was a difficult year for alot of folks. Let's leave all that drama behind and pray for a year of growth, abundance, and love for everyone and we sincerely appreciate you coming by to share our view of this twisted beautiful place we call earth. Can't wait to see what happens in 2010!! **Grabs virtual popcorn**

xoxo